it's 5 : 11 am now, and I'm still awake doing my character animation, supposed to be critique by yong kang which I miss already 2 times, hopefulyl today can get critique by him, went to FCC darren's church, my ex lecturer and good friend from 2008. joined him again in faith station and unite with some other friends.
lately, I been meeting christian friends and kept a bible type of book from his church. hm yes, there has been some recent change lately in my life that for some weird reason I cannot explain.
but that's not the reason why I'm up late writing this, lately I feel I was building a bond, you can say a strong bond with all my close friends in malaysia, and I can feel it everytime I shake a hand or meet another familiar face. Everytime we meet and talk, I feel that I'm building a relationship there, I'm creating that trust between us that make us closer.
can say even if some of my friends don't feel them yet but among those friends I'm building a trust with are, my close friends, Rachel, Jia Yung, Sheena, Darren, Jonathan CLY, Saphire. All this close friendship to me is build on times known each other and trust we build in each other and the word "trust" and "friendship" is so important to me even in my family. I wasn't able to understand why friendship never can last long sometimes before they reach relationship but now I'm starting to understand how they work and why sometimes couple or married couple can still stay together. it was at this age that I'm starting to understand what that word can relly mean to us even if sometimes we cannot apply it in life even if we understand the word from dictionary or class or watever.
as for this moment, I felt that it's time I can write out something even more special, to that someone who's been a friend, maybe close friend, probably best friend, even more than a best friend to me now, I seem to have no problem talking when we meet, getting along and know each other everytime, arguing with her, asking her out for lunch and even a date once lol, it's hard to say this I thought she felt like removing me from her life once.
in other words to say, for once I actually asked her to go out with me that would have been my 1st date in so many years, since she's the only girlfriend I talk to most of the time in my life. I thought it was the first time we get to know each other more better rather than talking about the same work that we already share in common. Even now, we're not really meeting or talking to each other, it's probably something I said this time or something I did that she might be avoiding me, I can't blame her if she is busy or needs some space, after all everyone needs some space in life who won't? lol I feel like a crying for attention writing this.
I just hope that in time we both can meet again and talk to each other more despite the fact that you find yourself uncomfortable being around me if I did something wrong.
Tham Chien Yih
8 June 1984