Monday, January 31, 2011


11 24 pm, I'm at home nicely gathering anything left to pack, my clothes, toilet stuff, throwing out rubbish later at night, my laptop, most of all saying goodbye to any friends, seniors, relatives and close friends here.

in 2008 I applied to study at the one academy, I thought maybe I complete my studies there I would be ready to work, again I was wrong, I am so not ready for anything, so I decided to further to lifeway college, to find my focus in character animation and this time I have to prove I'm learning and ready. I would have gone to the one academy years ago and thought I would not need to study overseas I was wrong again, and most of all I thought I could train while working, I was even more wrong.

goodness those times I relly prove myself wrong but didn't realise that, my awareness started when I turn 25, so while I'm below 30, I will study for 1 last time. mom wanted to me to earlier but I decided it's not time yet, I believe this is the right time, choose the right time to go.

2010 from 2008 pass by so fast and now I feel that maybe after I arrive at auckland and start my study life there, maybe that 1 year will pass quickly and maybe I work there too will passs quickly. So why does this 26 year old guy won't start work yet? when he should? why does he still want to continue study even after completing his digital animation course at the one academy? why the hell does he still goddamn burden his mother, older sister and make life sometimes so hard?

so my answer is, because I know who I am, where I have been, I'm quite slow learner, but honest, I cannot understand whether I'm good at certain things, and I'm always thinking to myself that enough is not enough, that learning got no limits. that I maybe pay the price now, so in the future I know it's something I never regret, randy supported me even if i envy him. Jonathan prefers free education but free comes with a price that we must be wiling to pay, Sellwyn thinks abt money over job but what about happiness? that doesn't matter? ultraman is worried abt a job, but why worry abt jobs when you can pick that time to learn more abt yourself and discover your weakness and absorb watever knowledge you still can? and build it?

finally wai kwan is worried abt her work and problems, we all have to make decisions someday and sometimes we are worried abt what others think, sometimes it's jsut up to you and not up to the world to decide and judge you, we need to believe in ourselves, and sometimes you feel a certain direction to take in life which happens to us often it's like 6 sense, most ppl felt it, I get that random.

I feel bad at getting my mom to pay so much money this time for my last studies and plane ticket, and che to look after me there financially when all that money could be put to better use for their own future, I always wonder why I put them like this sometimes, so I'm paying a price now, and my punishment for this is that, I have no source for entertaiment there, I must live long enough there to survive and I got to plan life ahead, one of them is not to give up.

2moro's flying day and I'm leaving to study overseas for 1st time, I just to be able to learn something be be responsible.

1 comment:

Randize said...

Hope all goes well over there. Remember to share your experiences over here.

I'm always watching this. :)