Monday, January 3, 2011

it's time

it 4 09 am in the morning, I can't sleep, and I jsut came across somethin that was bothering me like hell., in fact I felt that I was goign through that hell moment ago, same feeling like 2008, bunch of failure moments, just wonder, is there ever a reason for this kind of failure moments?

last year in august I faced one of my moments of rejections in life, I had to get out of it the hard way, had to find ways to deal with it and damn hell I just got the same feeling again and I have no idea why, so here's how I decided on some things, I need to leave m'sia for a moment, and earn something for myself overseas, sometimes I think being here too long will make me I dunno stay the same.

before I leave m'sia I have to take care of unfinished bussiness and meet up with every person who still matters to me, I feel for my friends and seniors who have just gone through a hell moment and are trying to get through it better situation than I am and I hope we all get through our hell moments, probably listening to you and talking to you all feels much better, I dunt want to have to deal with this alone like last year, it totally sucked and almost drove me nuts.

so once again I wil just make it like this, to everyone who still matters to me and value our friendship and our bonds, lets you and I meet up again just once more, we'll talk and we will think about the future and try and embrace some more brighter, talk about our goals and rise to meet them. I really think that every person shud not wait for something to happen, but make it happen, rise to meet it, I failed in my studies before, my job, my life, rejected by the persons who I wanted as a partner, pushed away by friends who I actually became closer with in the end I know who my friends really are.

in the end I just have to say this, I want a future too, I want that life of my own, you and I have every right to make it happen, I accept failure because I tried but I'm never giving up, I would like to make things happen, i would want a future job as a CG artist because I'm inspired by life's teachings, I would want a partner who can understand me as I understand her, accept me for who I am not what I possess or own, friends that will remember our bonds and value our friendship and never give up on each other most of all, I don't want to give up, I wanna live my life to the fullest because it's just too short and not worth regretting.

also I wanna thank a few people who have gave me a new shed of light even if we may not be so close as friends but, your philosophy and pitfall moments have really told me that it's really worth getting up and trying again no matter what it takes.

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