life so far

2 56 pm

life so far abit slow but tats okei, just yesterday i tot i had make a 1 time mistake that could lead me to risking my own probation time in gancho but so far not a single sign yet, maybe i just won't know, up till today I been thinking that to myself that I shud not be engaged to much into attention or draw too much attention to myself, I would be outside people's attention and outside the spotlight i would be away from center of attention. it works that way for me.

last time I was in spotlight i think i did it on purpose and got msyelf into trouble and that was a 1 time mistake, i feel that maybe this would have been the 2nd mistake i almost make, i would justthe silent type unless i relly need to put myself in risk by being in center of attention, this types of things are dangerous. Another thing today is from the recent task i have been given by my art director last week was to model a game prop from team fortress 2, the sentry he mentioned model it and if I got the time I could rig it and animate it, i didn't think it was a serious request but i decided to do it anyway, I tot maybe I will put the print screen in my blog here 1st before sharing in on the company blog.

above, the game prop for team fortress 2, the sentry, i'm not a fan of the game but tot i would jsut well share it in here.

i also got another question here maybe it's just for the purpose of study, i decided I will only help and protect those people that matter to me the people who were in my life and make part of my life, the people who disregard if those are close friends or family that actually didn't sacrifice anything for me but make me matter in their life, the same way I would do for them. I won't say this is study anymore but my way of life, my decision i made in life and affects those that don't matter to me, its just sad that i got lo let them go this way but i have already decided, reason is simple, i used to be the guy that would come to your side, the person you could rely on, and the one person who would be there for you  when everyone just decided you are totally worthless, but i decided that you matter to me in way a to me that i would be there for and protect, my own reasons sometimes.

abit souds confusing but when the time comes, maybe you will understand when you come to awkwards situations and I be there for you not because of benefit or self interest, but your matter to me reason, it's been a long totfull process to me but i leave it at that at current moment, i feel bad also that I cann't careless for anyone who doesn't matter to me but there are just some people out there maybe even family members that are similar to these people in some way