right, today, well since yesterday I had my feelings bleeding out and screaming at me till now and I'm trying to control them now I figure it's best to let it all out.
about 3 years ago, I met her, I kept thinking she's the right person to meet and probably to make as a girlfriend, I build the friendship with her and her family to know her better. but I could not bring myself to propose a relationship to her. I don't know why, I tried each time we met but it just cannot happen.
today I learn she's in relationship with a guy I also know who probably forget me. no argument, I know him and I know her, most of all I know her dreams and goals. I thought by rejoining amway and finding out who her romeo is that she told me I never met before I could rebuild the relationship.
I know now that I might be wrong, yin yin might have found her lifelong partner, it's what she wants, just too bad I didn't propose earlier. but there's some part of me for some reason refusing to let go, it's that emotional detach that is hard to fight, I would normally fight to get what I want but this isn't about getting the person I like, I believe now this is about her being happy. I would have interfered but I know Ken Loh, he's a good guy and I think yin yin deserves to be happy, both of them deserve to be happy. god I feel like I'm feeling sory for myself here. I feel I have to write this out because it's been bothering me since yesterday and this is about the girl I would propose relationship to but I did not make a decision.
yin yin I won't break your happiness and I will not ruin my friendship with ken, if you like him then please be happy together, I won't forgive if you don't.
most of all, please as a friend do not invite me to your wedding day, I can't stand the tormented feelings I have to go through.