Sunday, August 16, 2009


right, today, well since yesterday I had my feelings bleeding out and screaming at me till now and I'm trying to control them now I figure it's best to let it all out.

about 3 years ago, I met her, I kept thinking she's the right person to meet and probably to make as a girlfriend, I build the friendship with her and her family to know her better. but I could not bring myself to propose a relationship to her. I don't know why, I tried each time we met but it just cannot happen.

today I learn she's in relationship with a guy I also know who probably forget me. no argument, I know him and I know her, most of all I know her dreams and goals. I thought by rejoining amway and finding out who her romeo is that she told me I never met before I could rebuild the relationship.

I know now that I might be wrong, yin yin might have found her lifelong partner, it's what she wants, just too bad I didn't propose earlier. but there's some part of me for some reason refusing to let go, it's that emotional detach that is hard to fight, I would normally fight to get what I want but this isn't about getting the person I like, I believe now this is about her being happy. I would have interfered but I know Ken Loh, he's a good guy and I think yin yin deserves to be happy, both of them deserve to be happy. god I feel like I'm feeling sory for myself here. I feel I have to write this out because it's been bothering me since yesterday and this is about the girl I would propose relationship to but I did not make a decision.

yin yin I won't break your happiness and I will not ruin my friendship with ken, if you like him then please be happy together, I won't forgive if you don't.

most of all, please as a friend do not invite me to your wedding day, I can't stand the tormented feelings I have to go through.

Sunday, August 9, 2009






Friday, August 7, 2009


it's year 2009, 4 months to year 2010 and it's been so many months I didn't write anything so this is for updates.

1. I'm finishing the last of my 2nd year 2moro by settlng a stupid SEA exam.

2. hopefulyl passed all subjects without OTP.

3. Going to conduct more sell study and plan for a psossible future in new zealand

so that's the updates just to save myself trouble of writing long essay. I was previously visiting New Zealand for my 3rd time and feel that i shoud go there again someday. Also make a trip to Tokyo.

plsn to sit for JLPT 3 this year and continue nihon go studies, work a better demoreel and concept. end of this update until I can type more, just to lazy to do that now